10. Four out of the five starters are pregnant.
9. Your point guard and center find out in the pre-game of the regional championship they're both dating the same girl.
8. It's just really hard to play with house arrest ankle bracelets on.
7. Your co-op'd with so many schools, the IHSA couldn't decide on a proper class for you.
6. Water bottles are filled to the brim with vodka.
5. Thanks to the show choir trip, only three players are available to play.
4. You're coached by Don O'Brien and he keeps reminding everyone that Michael Jeffrey Jordan would have made that shot.
3. Your best player is the son of the bookie Jimmy No Thumbs. His name is Willie One Arm.
2. Your top scorer wears leg braces.
1. Matt Schuckman picked your team to win in the Herald-Whig.