10) All postgame interviews will be conducted in Spanish.
9) Cancel La Russa's Dog Day at the Park due to a log left at 1B last year.
8) HR Derby participation means Bard Lidge as the pitcher.
7) Not to be called every time a fundraiser occurs.
6) ESPN has to put him funnier commercials.
5) Pretty simple: The Pujols Gateway Arch.
4) New pants ... need to make huge butt look smaller.
3) Six clones making it an all-Pujols squad ... plus Molina.
2) When intentionally walked, Stubby Clapp will be his stand-in.
1) Change name of H1N1 virus to The Cubs Flu.
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