10) The basketball nets are flown in from a Chinese silk factory.
9) Your star athlete is pasty.
8) The superintendent's kid doesn't even make the team.
7) The Blue devils torch blows out in the wind.
6) Every girls basketball player has their own British nanny.
5) Your championship chess team curses mother nature's allergens.
4) The six-foot kid in fifth grade gets to use a pen on his Scantron form.
3) All your exchange students are seven-foot-tall Scandinavians.
2) Before each skate, Coach asks "What would Brian Boitano do?"
1) Have you ever wrestled in the mud?