10) You left the waitress at Pizza Hut a one-dollar tip.
9) Saw the sticker "South Pole or Bust" on your car.
8) Santa doesn't appreciate the Festivus Pole.
7) The name "Woods" appears on the mailbox.
6) You cheated at the Easter Peep Eating Contest.
5) Caught being naughty ... with Mrs. Claus.
4) Santa and the reindeer are having a having a "power struggle" on who calls the shots.
3) You moved and he forgot to update his Garmin.
2) You're Jewish and he'd already been by eight times.
1) Too scared because he was called a "socialist" for wearing red by your extremely Right-wing neighbors.