10) All campus mail is forwarded to Cancun.
9) His wife was spotted wearing Twany Orange and not Burnt Orange. Oh my.
8) Coaches kid keeps asking, "when do we move to Disneyland"?
7) School's Web site has a blurred smudge over his bio picture.
6) His 2010 recruiting class includes three linemen, a towel boy and a donkey.
5) All underclass players have applied for a transfer.
4) Always paranoid that TMZ is following him.
3) Promised to "be there for the long haul" in his first-ever press conference.
2) Legally changed name from Lane to Elaine.
1) Jay Leno wants his job.