10) Only manage a mere one case of beer per nine holes.
9) You reach for your 9-iron … snow shovel.
8) You're shanking it to the left. Usually it's right AND left.
7) You haven't had your bikini line waxed.
6) You even screwed up cheating your first time out.
5) Take off your Roethlisberger jersey and put on a polo, Hoosier.
4) Left a divot while putting.
3) One word: chafing.
2) Your handcrafted umbrella/ball-retriever combo is still in the shop.
1) Forget chasing pars and birdies, you go after Tiger's mistress record.