10) The Quincy Herald-Whig ... Mr. Eighinger lost his right to carry after the last donut battle.
9) Veterans Home ... their aim just isn't the same as it used to be.
8) Tea Party rally ... most are 100-percent against corporal punishment anyway.
7) Hogback Island ... oh, never mind. There's a pretty good chance you'll get tased there.
6) Blessing Heart & Vascular Center ... they already have defibrillators.
5) Gems game ... Chickenman has enforced a new "no booing" rule.
4) Public Library ... non-reading kids scream a little too loud when demonstrated.
3) Your daughter's dance recital ... even though the taser might sound like a better option.
2) WGEM ... they recently stopped the "Tase to get on TV" program.
1) Green Parrot ... where would she even conceal the taser?
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