10) Tase the student council president for getting drunk and heckling your wife.
9) Put a cherry bomb in the toilet for old time's sake.
8) Promote your blog: www.tranny.com.
7) Wear a Culture Club T-shirt, stoned washed jeans, drinking a Cosmo.
6) Dance with the guy in the Culture Club T-shirt.
5) Ask your wife to make out with your ex-girlfriend.
4) Give everybody the ol' "19th Hole Trick" during dinner.
3) Forget to video tape your wife saying "yes" and making out with your ex-girlfriend.
2) Win award for "Ugliest Wife."
1) Hire your e-principal to jump out of the cake. Or have a cake at all.