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Hooch's Top Ten...

Top Ten Things Not Found In The New Movie The Expendables

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10) Subtitles for Arnold and Stallone.

9) An ugly chick in distress.

8) A Columbian landlord ... not a drug lord.

7) An Oscar-winning performance from Daniel Day-Lewis

6) Anybody with their real hair … and face.

5) A bad guy shooting and hitting a good guy.

4) Jean-Claude Van Damme.

3) A spoken word with 10 or more letters.

2) A plot.

1) A profit. It doesn't make money unless Chuck Norris says it does.

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