10) Help the recently widowed Latino neighbor move in next door. Also learn Spanish.
9) Put together the life-size puzzle of Tyler Tomlinson he gave you as a going away gift.
8) Secretly watch everything titled "Justin Bieber" saved on DVR.
7) Have a bladder buster party by yourself and drink 36 1/4 beers.
6) Use laser pointer to review play-by-play your son's miscues Friday night.
5) Eat Cheetos while your wife literally goes into labor.
4) Watch your crazy uncle set his eye brows on fire due to too much kerosene.
3) Watch your crazy cousin set his eye brows on fire due to too much kerosene.
2) Celebrate labor?
1) Bat leadoff for the St. Louis Cardinals.
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