10) Finally did a postgame conference without his wig.
9) Bats the pitcher sixth.
8) Started to wear a cup.
7) Has become best friends with Bernie Miklasz.
6) Been seen going to GNC with Big Mac.
5) Even his dogs are refusing to show up to the ballpark.
4) Keeps showing Jose Oquendo the real Secret Weapon.
3) Overheard telling Pujols that he could hit more homers at Wrigley Field.
2) Carney Lansford is sending retirement party invites.
1) Uses the bullpen phone to order a bottle of merlot.
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