10) New drinking game -- one shot for every Marv Albert "Yes!" while wearing women's clothes.
9) Can't miss the breaking news of Melo shooting himself in the leg at a nightclub.
8) Beats the heck out of watching Major League Soccer, Premier League Soccer, cricket, rugby, bowling or whatever ESPN is showing.
7) You put $100 on New Orleans during a drunken night in Vegas.
6) Word is Chris Bosh is going to reveal he's actually a woman.
5) ESPN's postseason 16-part series titled, The True Big Red Machine: The Brian Scalabrine Story.
4) Never know when Charles Barkley may rip off Kenny Smith's head and eat it.
3) Charlie Sheen front row tweeting live from every Heat game. #Winning?
2) Chicago's Joakim Noah promises $10 to charity for every Shaq injury.
1) One more ring for Kobe ties him with Jordan ... and Mrs. Bryant.