10) Jonnie forgot the tap for the third inning keg.
9) Complain the ball is too "wiffley."
8) Someone pulls a switch-a-roo and has the pitcher use an actual baseball.
7) The mean bullies on the corner put rocks inside the balls. They hurt!
6) You're scheduled to play a doubleheader on the same day that idiot predicted the rapture is coming.
5) El Nino-type winds off the Mississippi River leads to a 56-54 game after one inning.
4) You are playing against the guys from The Lean Ferret.
3) The players organize a union, halting play due to poor playing conditions.
2) Your ringer gets arrested for "drinking and wiffling."
1) Invite the Mouth of the Midwest, Don O'Brien.