Top Ten Alternatives to Shooting off Fireworks - WGEM.com: Quincy News, Weather, Sports, and Radio

Hooch's Top Ten

Top Ten Alternatives to Shooting off Fireworks

Posted:
10) Watch the 22 hours of Saved by the Bell you recently DVR'd.
 
9) Solve budget crisis by dividing debt ceiling by military spending subtracting healthcare. I have no clue.
 
8) Dress in Greenman and streak the Soldiers and Sailors Home.
 
7) Use cassette/VHS tapes as clay pigeons for a classic trap shoot.
 
6) Stare at a lit cigarette for an hour.
 
5) Buy gunpowder, a pipe, and some wicks off the Internet.
 
4) Eat an entire tub of pork and beans with a pound of sausage and just wait it out.
 
3) Have a spoiled food eating contest. First to pukes loses.
 
2) Place bet on which one explodes first -- Dolly Parton's chest or Kim Kardashian's butt.
 
1) Volunteer to take complaint calls at Ameren.
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