10) Shipping the kid back means more time with the mistress ... um, mean the Mrs.
9) The mall is so free now for us mall walkers.
8) The riveting principal's speech on Day 1 is always moving and breathtaking.
7) Love the smell of textbooks in the morning.
6) Hazing the freshmen football players in a non-sexual and threatening manner.
5) Uh, ever been to sorority Jell-O Night in college?
4) I have missed getting speeding tickets past 12th and Maine Street in Quincy.
3) Chance to see your summer sweetheart as she's your 10th grade math teacher.
2) Get more free time to be the biggest illegal booster at your alma mater.
1) The girls at the Green Parrot always dress up as librarians the first weekend