10) If I complete this back flip I will become a legend.
9) Did the bookie tell me to take a dive in the 4th or the 5th? Oh, no!
8) Eat your heart out, Steve Bartman. I got on the field.
7) Water skiing? Try pulling this one off, Twiggy.
6) This is my second time out so I guess I have to pull the pitcher.
5) I could really make a nice nest in Jason Motte's beard.
4) Peanuts? Peanuts? Who said peanuts? Where? Peanuts?
3) Skip Schumaker... nice butt.
2) The longer I run around the longer we get to see Pujols in a Cardinals jersey.
1) Steroids really did shrink those things. What was I thinking?