Listen every Friday for a new Top Ten from Hooch on WGEM SportsCenter, ESPN 1440 and WGEM.com/sports.
10) Are you sure Rudolph's red nose isn't actually a fatal tumor?
9) How come you didn't flush after using my bathroom back in '87?
8) Can the elves make a hat big enough for Don O'Brien's head?
7) Why'd you give me a Barbie doll when I was six? Not that I really minded, though.
6) How do you plan to ship my Icelandic bride I asked for?
5) So, was it you or Mrs. Claus that couldn't have kids?
4) Are the names Sandusky and Fine on The Naughty List? If not, you better check it more than twice.
3) Anyway you can give Jay Cutler some manhood as a gift? What, too awkward?
2) Would Americans instead of elves in your shop help solve our economy problem?
1) How long is too long for a 30-year-old man to sit on your lap?