10) The referees bring folding chairs and stay near the other team's basket.
9) Topp quit giving them Tips weeks ago.
8) The school's web site list them as a JV team.
7) The male cheerleaders are even too embarrassed to show up.
6) As the coach, you're down to charting times the ball hits the rim on free throws.
5) They receive first round byes in tournaments -- straight to the consolation bracket.
4) Three of the team's broadcasters are seeking help due to depression.
3) Team leader and captain is on maternity leave.
2) Coach gets first quarter technicals so he can enjoy American Idol in peace.
1) You're down to one play and it's called "Shut up and pray."