10) Somebody put "Fire" behind Dempster's name on his jersey.
9) Jeff Samardzija cut his hair. (That's a bible reference, folks.)
8) All team Tweets end with #SuckForLuck despite not being in the NFL.
7) Due to Derrick Rose already using up eight of the city's 10 sports injuries, only two D.L. trips allowed.
6) Asking guests to sing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" in 5th inning due to game being shorten to only seven.
5) Currently trying to rekindle 1984 by trading a couple of outfielders to ESPN for Rick Sutcliffe.
4) The ivy even seems sad.
3) The Three Stooges movie asked not to advertise during games.
2) Despite being in perfect shape, many have signed up for NBC's The Biggest Loser.
1) Ozzie Guillen's asking too many questions about a certain star shortstop.